peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My vagina is officially offended.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
