At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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