Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize