remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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