Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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