This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
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She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
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hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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