we're chasing vodka with high fives
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
