I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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