I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
