I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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