How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
