There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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