Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
