Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
