with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
