I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
