can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
hell yes lets make some ravioli
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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