I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
