I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize