he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
