oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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