i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
