i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
