I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
This is my gift to your gina
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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