Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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