who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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