your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
