Already got asked if we're dating
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
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there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
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Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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