matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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