You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
