For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
