sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I wish you could order shots online.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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