Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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