im six kinds of drunk right now
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
