Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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