Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
