I feel great
I just peed on a car
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
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