Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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