The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
