After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
