Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
