If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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