you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize
