Your tits are I can't wait for
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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