If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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