hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
