Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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