Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
