so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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