In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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