If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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