...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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