There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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