oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
