I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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