Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
