Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
please come you make the beer taste better
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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