are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
