"it" just moved
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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